MURDER / MAYHEM!

You may all thank me now.

There will be no pictures on today's post.  (We'll pretend it's because I'm a conscientious blogger and didn't want to offend your sensibilities - but in reality I'm a terrible blogger and didn't even consider taking a picture until this morning!)

There was murder and mayhem at our house last night.  And Kyle was THRILLED. 

(Except for when he was completely skeeved out...)

We let the dogs out when we got home from work (around 7:30).  (Kyle and I are now car pooling, as all his forms of transportation are down for the count.  Trooper - toasted head gasket.  Skooter - baked clutch.  It's tough to be one of Kyle's vehicles apparently...)

Since they had been in the dog room for most of the day, we let them stay out until way after dark.  When Kyle went out to gather them up and put them away for the night, he saw Bison in the yard, but there was an extra set of shining eyes next to him and Bison seemed pretty preoccupied.  (Didn't respond to the call for treats...)  Luckily he is terrified of lightning, so all you have to do is shine a flashlight or flash a camera and he drops whatever he is doing and high-tails it to his crate.

Having gone the flashlight route anyway, Kyle headed to the eyes to investigate. 

Possum!  Nearly, but not totally dead.  Plenty of blood though.  And not much movement.  (Much gnashing of teeth on the part of the possum - although Kyle didn't get super close.  You know the whole "playing possum" thing.  He was convinced the thing was suddenly going to jump up and attack him.) 

After checking Bison to make sure all the blood was from the possum and none was from the dumb dog, we needed to figure out what to do with the possum. 

Out came the gun.  Kyle is a crack shot.  Especially with his .22 and scope.  Deadly.  But to date, the only thing he has taken out was a paper target and an occasional metal disk.  (In the shape of a penny, but certainly NOT an actual penny.  That would be a felony or something....)

I provided flashlight holding and moral support. 

He stood an appropriate distance away.  (See reference to "playing possum" above...)  First shot (which was incredibly loud in the late evening silence out there in the country...) was straight to the head.  A clean shot right in the poor possum's ear.  But instead of resulting in immediate death, it caused much writhing and more teeth gnashing.  Second shot, into the general heart area.  (Not exactly certain where a possum stores his heart...)  Third and final shot into the general abdominal area.  By that time, the possum actually appeared to be dead, and Kyle was out of bullets.  (He figured one would do the job, but loaded 3 just in case...)

We left the critter in the yard for 30 minutes or so, while putting away the gun, rechecking the dogs and giving it enough time to make sure it wasn't "playing" anymore.  Then loaded it into a muck bucket in the back of the Rhino and drove it out to the woods for more natural folks to consume it.  (Circle of life and all that...)  Even considering in the 30 minutes it was covered in ants (Florida has a pretty efficient system for dealing with all things dead...) Kyle was still pretty sure it would hop up and attack him at any moment.  He nearly jumped out of his skin when he dumped it into the woods. 

Anyhow - one more step to "Red Necked Hood" for the man.  (He will be 21 in mere weeks, I have to get used to calling him a man...) If we were truly Red Necks, we would have skinned and stewed the thing.  But due to the whole "possible rabies" thing - we let the woods take care of the carcass. 

So.

No pictures.  Not even of one of the intrepid hunter with his gun. 

You are welcome.