Lollipops

I don't know if you have noticed.

But I have.

We have this tree.

It shows up in my sunset photos. 

It makes me happy.

I've not decided if it's a lollipop.

Or a doughnut.

But either way.

I like it!

(Why yes, I AM dieting.  Why do you ask?)

Punkin Chunkin

Yah, we live in the south.

It appears there are no "g's" in the south.

Livin'

Lovin'

Punkin Chunkin'

Never heard of Punkin Chunkin'?

Well, officially you build a giant catapult and see how far you can chuck your pumpkin.

But we don't find that necessary.

See.

We are rednecks, but let's not get carried away.

Alright?

So we just stand on the roof and toss.

It's great fun!

It works better if the pumpkin sits on the patio for a couple of days

so it's a little on the mushy side.

But not TOO mushy...

or you won't be able to do the next part!

If you look behind Kyle, you'll see another hunk-a-punk

with a big black divot in the ground next to it.

He hit the ground FULL FORCE with his scythe.

Which is why he's still swinging, but swingin' high. 

It kinda hurt.

And bent his scythe.

And now there are little chunks of punkin all over the yard.

Which, sadly, the bunnies don't seem to find yummy.

But the chickens are slowly finding them and pecking away at them.

And when we let the horses out in the yard tomorrow, I'm sure they'll finish cleaning it all up.

Thanks guys!

Aaaaaaaaah, the joys of livin' in the south!



Two Posts in a Day?????

Yup.

I just can't stay negative.

It's who I am.

And who I try to be.

Last night we went to a great little Relief Society dinner.

There were only 36 sisters there.

(We have a pretty small ward...)

As the "closing song" we all sang the following together.

Sing it!

Sing it LOUD!

It WILL brighten your mood.....

Count Your Wrinkles

(to the tune of Count Your Many Blessings)

Verse 1:

Hello, Welcome everyone, you're looking great

You don't look a minute over 98!

What have you to show for all the sweat and tears

And the smiles and laughter of these many years?

CHORUS:

Count your wrinkles; name them one by one

Counting wrinkles can be lots of fun.

Don't you pity people who have none?

Count your many wrinkles, see what time has done.

Verse 2:

Count from top to bottom or from left to right.

Counting wrinkles one by one could take all night.

If you're in a hurry here's what you can do

Count them all on one side and then multiply by two.

CHORUS:

Count your wrinkles; name them one by one

Counting wrinkles can be lots of fun.

Don't you pity people who have none?

Count your many wrinkles, see what time has done.

Verse 3:

Some might say that naming wrinkles is insane

Fred and Sue and Benjamin and Mary Jane

Each and every wrinkle is a special friend

They will all be with you to your journeys end.

CHORUS:

Count your wrinkles; name them one by one

Counting wrinkles can be lots of fun.

Don't you pity people who have none?

Count your many wrinkles, see what time has done.

SMILE!  It'll give you HAPPY WRINKLES!

Buckle Up!

It's gonna be a ride!

We got four more years.

I'm trying to be positive.

(Ignore the fact that I'm dressed in black, from head to toe...)

I am Positive.

I am positive we will not get rid of Monsanto.

I am positive we will not get rid of Obamacare.

I am positive we will not start drilling our own resources.

I am positive we will become even more socialist.

I am positive our dollars will be worth less.

I am positive food and fuel prices will go up.

I am positive this is going to be a ride.

So anyway.

This is what the sky looked like last night.

While it was falling.

I'll be back tomorrow with an Actual Positive Attitude.

But today I am mourning.

Twins!

Remember that GIANT egg from a week or so ago?

I like to let them sit for a week or so, otherwise when you hard boil them,

they are hard to peel.

I boiled it up and then cracked it open.

Yup!

Doubles!

Kyle thought it would make a great deviled egg.

But I just sliced up an avacado and ate it up.

YUM!

Aaaah/Aaargh

Saturday night, after teaching a 5 hour class to an 18 student class,

I went to Red Lobster and had a pound of Snow Crab legs.

And a cup of New England Clam Chowder.

And a salad.

And some corn on the cob and red potatoes.

Aaaaaaaah.

It was REALLY yummy!

(And I had my favorite server - she does a GREAT job...)

Then I headed back to my hotel.

Poured a couple of drops of Oil of Oregano on a damp washcloth and disinfected the tub.

Because, Eeeeeeuuuuuwwwww, hotel tub.

(But OoO is a powerful disinfectant.)

Then I FILLED the tub with nice nearly hot water.

And dissolved 2 cups in Epsom Salts in there.

Epsom Salts are also pretty powerful.

They work to draw out infection (which is why, when my horse gets an abscessed hoof,

I soak it in a bucket of hot water with Epsom for 15 minutes - or whatever I can get...)

They also work to draw out other impurities in your body, resulting in a great detox.

And it's salt.  So your skin ends up SOFT.

Plus, with the Oil of Oregano, it was kind of like taking a long, hot, soaky bath in a pizza parlor!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh

(There are no pictures, you are welcome.)

However.

Before I got in the tub, I dumped some diatemacious earth in my hand,

added some warm water,

and made a loose paste.

Then I spread it on my face.

THEN I got in the tub.

Set my phone timer for 30 minutes.

Propped my Kindle on the edge of the tub.

And soaked,

read,

relaxed,

detoxed,

loved it!

When the alarm went off, I decided I wasn't done.

So I turned it off and kept on soaking.

When I FINALLY got out of the tub,

I stood up, climbed out, turned around, and looked in the mirror.

Holy Kabuki Theater Batman!

I don't know why I was surprised it turned white.

But I was.

And it took all my self control not to break out laughing.

At least until I took a picture.

*********************************************

Fast forward to Sunday evening.

When I drive home from school, I often call and chat with Rod.

But his A/C in his truck is broken, so he was driving with his windows open.

We talked for awhile, but my voice was already worn out.

(I ended up with 22 students and they were NOISY...)

So we hung up.

I have always talked out loud to myself.

I remember yapping away, out loud, while mowing the lawn in Calgary.

Grant Pitcher came to visit and stood on the sidewalk just watching and laughing.

Until I became aware of him.

And died of embarrassment.

Anyhow.

I like to talk to myself when I drive.

When I first started teaching, I would pick a chapter, or a concept from a chapter

and re-teach it from memory.

Tweaking the stories, the jokes, the verbal visuals.

It's how I memorized 40 hours of material.

Now that I know my stuff

(sheesh, it's been 13 years... I better know it!)

I still talk out loud.

But I usually tell myself stories.

Last night, I was pre-writing this post.

Out loud.

With my Bluetooth on my head.

I mentioned T-Tapp.  (Someone on the T-Tapp forum told me about the DE face mask)

I don't know what I did, but when I said Tapp, my phone turned itself on.

(Maybe I bumped it? Touched a button? Who knows...)

In my ear, I heard my phone gnome say

"Call Teresa Tapp on Mobile"

Aaaaaaaargh!!!  What?  Wait!  NO!!!

1. I have Teresa's personal cell phone number because we spoke a few times before the PBS Special.

2.  I am NOT a member of the "inner circle" and have no excuse for calling Teresa these days.

3.  It was 9:00 (10:00 body time, first day of the end of Daylight Savings) on Sunday night!

I'm screaming, "End Call, Cancel, Stop!!!" while trying to punch the right button in the dark while driving.

Sheesh!

Meanwhile, I missed a call from Rod.

So I hit the button to call him back.

And the Phone Gnome said

"Call Teresa Tapp on Mobile".

Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!

So, Teresa... 

FORGIVE ME!?!



November

Today is the first day of my company's Biggest Loser Challenge.

I'm all in.

(I took "before" pictures, but won't be posting them

until I have some decent "after" pictures to counter with)

So here's a recipe I'm going to try tonight.

It sounds really good!

Rod eats celery every night - this might be fun for him to take along.

And I've added celery as a snack at work.

Buffalo Wing Hummus

slightly adapted from Food Network Magazine

2 cans chickpeas, drained and rinsed
2-3 cloves garlic
1/4 cup tahini (if you don't have this don't worry)
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1 1/2 tsp paprika
3 Tbsp calorie-free wing sauce ( Or whatever BBQ sauce we have at home)
2 Tbsp cayenne hot sauce (Frank's red hot sauce)
1 Tbsp distilled white vinegar
1/2 tsp Kosher salt (you can safely omit this)

Directions:
Put the chickpeas, garlic, tahini, lemon juice, paprika, wing sauce, hot sauce, vinegar and 1 1/2 teaspoons salt in a food processor. Puree until smooth and creamy.
Yield: 12 servings (1/4 cup each).

Nutrition Information (per serving): 99 calories; 3.4 g. fat; 0 mg. cholesterol; 231 mg. sodium; 11.8 g. carbohydrate; 4.2 g. fiber; 4.6 g. protein

Result: The perfect zing! As much as I love hummus, this really takes things to a new level. If spicy is your thing, grab a few stalks or celery and enjoy! It’s rare buffalo wing anything can be enjoyed so guilt-free!